50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

DAY ELEVEN: Write about your sibling(s) or what it’s like to be an only child.

I already wrote about my older brother in another post (click here). So now I’ll write about my older sister. She and I are very close. She definitely knows more about me than anybody else in the world. While I hate talking on the phone, my sister is one person who’s phone call I don’t ignore. We’re different in a lot of ways (she’s Miss Glamazon Social Butterfly, I’m the quirky tomboy in the back corner), but the same in others (like me, she’s a good listener and a good friend). I admire her perseverance and unrelenting passion for medicine. I sometimes envy her confidence, handwriting, and proactiveness (she’s socially fearless, I’m socially awkward). I’m always openly receptive and easily convinced by her advice because she’s usually right about me and knows what decision I should make. She’s also easy to pick on and bother because she’s a mere munchkin who seems to get smaller every time I see her : ) Basically, I love my little big sis!

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I’m clearly obsessed with lists and countdowns and bullet points in general. So I knew I hit the jackpot when I came across the...

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind !

I understand if you don’t want to read my responses, but at least go through the questions and answer them for yourself. There are no right or wrong answers…they’re just meant to challenge you to think deeply about yourself. It’s also a good way to procrastinate at work : )

(Click here for the link to the questions)

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How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

17.5—at the edge of adulthood, but still unwilling to give up being a child.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying. Regret is MUCH WORSE than failure.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

All comes back to fear…fear of trying, fear of failure, fear of what other people may think about you if you try something outside the box.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Absolutely. I’m trying desperately to live in the moment and do what I want to do when I want to do it, but societal conventions and all those negative thoughts always get in the way. Peep my profile tagline—“ I’m trying to be a free spirit but life keeps getting in the way.” Hopefully I can live a life I’m proud of, ie: do everyone on my bucket list before I croak.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

GREED! There’s more than enough money and food in this world for people not to starve or go without.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Going on family vacations. It combines the two things I love the most in my life—traveling and my family.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Currently I’m not doing much of anything! If I settle, I’ll probably see you in NY/LA by the end of the summer; if I do what I believe in, I’ll probably be elsewhere doing something completely random.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Great questions! Well I’d be a little over halfway through my life. I’d hope to be married with at least 1 kid by now. I wouldn’t have gone to college and probably would have dropped out of high school early. I’d live like a gypsy and travel all over the world with my family living in exotic places and doing random shit to make money and survive.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I believe I’ve had 100% control and I’m sure every decision I’ve made has been my own. Except being forced to do track and field for 3 years—that was my mom’s doing.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing the right things. I’m sure I’ll make plenty of mistakes in my life so “doing things right” is not a concern.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Because the criticism is distasteful and, especially, unjustified, I’d defend my friend. I’ve defended people before who weren’t even close friends just because people were saying things that had no merit and were mean-spirited. I’m a good friend to have : )

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Don’t follow the rules.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Absolutely…unless it was going to get me 30 years to life.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

At the Magic Gardens in Philadelphia—it’s this crazy mural wonderland created by this insane artist/genius.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I wear my socks inside out (been doing it since elementary school).

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

My family makes me happy. Some people unfortunately come from sucky families I guess.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Vacation alone. I’m nervous about traveling alone and making friends.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

My childhood obviously. I desperately need to grow up.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Sydney, Australia obviously (read this). Plus, there’s a lot of stuff about our government and the American way of living that I disagree with. I’m sure Australia too has its pitfalls but they also get 4 weeks paid vacation and that awesome accent to make up for it ; )

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Yes, no

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Joyful simpleton. Most geniuses are crazy and it’s no fun worrying all the time.

Why are you, you?

A combination of my parents upbringing + my own self-will + God’s mysterious plan for me.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

I think I’m the bestest friend anyone could ever have. I’m loyal, I’m a good listener (too good), I’m honest, I can make you laugh. I’m desperate to find a friend like me.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

When a good friend moves away. My childhood best friend moved across the country and let me tell you, distance is a bitch when it comes to trying to stay in touch with someone. In regards to a good friend who lives right near you—if they’re a good person, then they’ll stay the same no matter what and you guys will pick things right back up where they started anytime you see them.

What are you most grateful for?

Great, sane parents.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I’d rather lose all of my old memories. Life is about living in the now and making new memories. Dwelling on the past (whether it’s good or bad) prevents you from moving forward with life.

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

No. Things (usually) aren’t always what they seem. It’s always good to challenge what you THINK make be the truth first before accepting it.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

I once dropped a $1,000 videocamera I borrowed from the Penn library off of my 4-foot-tall dresser and I broke a piece of it, although ALL day I was telling myself I have to be careful NOT TO BREAK THE CAMERA. Luckily, the camera still worked and didn’t break completely, but after crying and hyperventilating, it hit me that my greatest fear had ALMOST come true.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

I was 16, nope.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

Swimming and battling the waves at Big Beach in Maui. Definitely one of the most fun days in my life and my entire family was there : )

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Everyday I was in Sydney.

If not now, then when?

I was going to say “there’s always tomorrow” but actually there isn’t. So I guess NOW is the only option.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

I have NOTHING to lose. I’m not married, don’t have kids, I’m living selfishly for me and me only. If only I could get over myself…

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Umm…nope.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Because people are so closed-minded and refuse to simply accept that there are other religions with other beliefs that are validated by other religious texts AND at the end of the day YOUR religion could actually be a load of made up horseshit just as you believe the next guy’s religion is.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Yes, anything that comes from love is good…from hate, evil.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Nope, a million dollars is a lot, but not THAT much. I’d take a LONG vacation though.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

Less work. I work to live not live to work.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Of course. Watching TV and surfing the Internet is my standard everyday life.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

It’s been a while…

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

I’d keep my butt right at home with my family.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

I don’t crave fame and I already know I’m a babe ; )

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Being alive—going through the motions of everyday life and doing the bare minimum to survive. Truly living—not giving a shit what people think about you or your decisions; just living for yourself and doing all that makes YOU happy.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

The time is obviously now.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Fear is a powerful, useless, and blinding emotion. It prevents you from seeing clearly and from seeing that “hey, it’s okay if I make this mistake, cuz I’ll learn from it in the long run.”

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Die my hair pink, get a couple tattoos, eat everything I want and probably become morbidly obese, work some cool jobs first before settling into working on a career.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Earlier when I was working out and huffing and puffing like an overweight asthmatic.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

I love to eat. Pigging out last night before starting the Master Cleanse openly expressed this love. However, going on the Master Cleanse is a clear contradiction.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

Nope, they were extremely unmemorable days.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Trying desperately to make them for myself.

I MISS THE BALL PIT!!!!!

DAY NINE: Photo of your favorite pillow. & DAY TEN: How you wake up in the morning.

So I don’t sleep on a pillow. I sleep with my head directly on the mattress…a weird habit that started in middle school I think. How I wake up in the morning? I use my iPhone as my alarm clock. Current song: Skins (UK) season 4 theme song. After snoozing a minimum of 3 times (extra 27 minutes of sleep), I finally decide to wake up. I grab my phone, check my email first, then Twitter, then Facebook, then Words with Friends. Finally, I sit up and stretch all the way down to my ankles and crack my back. Good morning!

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I MISS THE BALL PIT!!! I don’t remember what I was watching on TV this past week that triggered this nostalgia, but once it hit me, memories of swimming through that pool of colorful plastic balls came rushing to my mind. I can see myself going down the slide at the Discovery Zone and landing in the sea of balls, standing on the pit’s ledge and diving in as if I were at the public pool, having ball fights with my friends, dunking under the swarm of balls and hiding before popping up to give someone a scare…ahh so many childhood memories!!

To be quite honest, I was never one to want to grow up. You know how some girls go through a whole makeup phase in middle school, trying to look grown? Yeah, I never went through that. Didn’t even buy eyeliner until my freshman year in college. In high school, while everyone had boy drama and went out on dates, I was happily at the movies with my parents. Oh, and I still watch The Disney Channel and more often take baths than showers.

Basically, I’ve savored every drop of my childhood. And being the youngest of three in my family, I sometimes still get treated like a kid. But while some might complain and demand of their parents, “treat me like an adult!” I definitely do not mind at all! Why? Because growing up sucks, that’s why! I haven’t even hit the real world yet of bills and waking up early and mean bosses and I’m already missing my childhood.

This is the first time in my life where there isn’t a predetermined plan for me. I have to figure out my next step on my own and venture off into the world without anyone holding my hand and it’s scary and confusing and stressful and all I want is my Mommy! I miss the freedom that childhood offered! Even though as a child, you technically have no freedom, as your life is completely run by your parents, I envy the freedom from stress and worry and the freedom of simplicity that kids are privileged to have.

Remember the “want-to-play-shark?” kids I saw in the pool at The Bahamas? In a snap, they became friends and, plain and simple, had fun together. Can you imagine if I went up to a girl in the pool and asked her if she wanted to play cards (or something a little more age-appropriate than “shark”)? After a weird look, she might agree to it, or she would probably use the whole “sorry, I’m here with my friends (and/or boyfriend) excuse” and swim back to them and tell them how some weirdo girl came up to her asking to play cards.

As we get older, we almost have to be extremely selective with our friends, as you quickly find out people are usually trifling, flaky, jealous, or just plain bitches. And forget about making friends with someone of the opposite sex…a whole other field of complications comes with that! I remember as a child having a bajillion friends, a new best friend every year, and going over someone’s house afterschool just about everyday. Yeah, well it took me about 2 years at Penn before I made a solid friend. And this past weekend, I was home…alone…all weekend.

I miss the days of just hopping on my bike and going for my ride around the neighborhood with my friends. I miss walking through the woods behind my house and coming home with ticks (ok, I don’t miss the ticks part). I miss making up dances with my friends afterschool. I miss playing intense games of House and Murder in the Dark (we were morbid kids) with my cousins during the summertime.

I miss having hobbies for goodness sakes! I used to read all the time! I was always reading a book before bed. Now that

book as been replaced by Netflix on my laptop. I used to do all kinds of arts and crafts projects—watercolor to lanyard to crocheting—and write fiction stories all the time. The saddest memory…I used to dance—a HUGE part of my life for like 10 years. Over the years, those hobbies have slowly dwindled away and yet today, I have the nerve to declare “I’m bored!”

As we get older, our bookshelves are filled with self-help books (I’m currently reading “The Laws of Thinking”) and we have to consciously remind ourselves…

"Carpe diem!"

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today"

But as much as we can try and "live like everyday is your last," before you know it, the pangs of adulthood creep back in and the people who indeed ARE savoring everyday as if they'll die in the morning are the ones looked as as reckless and irrational.

While I'm sad to say that my childhood is gone forever, I guess I just have to accept that it's an (unfortunate) part of life and it's time to grow up, shape up, and ship out.