I MISS THE BALL PIT!!!!!

DAY NINE: Photo of your favorite pillow. & DAY TEN: How you wake up in the morning.

So I don’t sleep on a pillow. I sleep with my head directly on the mattress…a weird habit that started in middle school I think. How I wake up in the morning? I use my iPhone as my alarm clock. Current song: Skins (UK) season 4 theme song. After snoozing a minimum of 3 times (extra 27 minutes of sleep), I finally decide to wake up. I grab my phone, check my email first, then Twitter, then Facebook, then Words with Friends. Finally, I sit up and stretch all the way down to my ankles and crack my back. Good morning!

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I MISS THE BALL PIT!!! I don’t remember what I was watching on TV this past week that triggered this nostalgia, but once it hit me, memories of swimming through that pool of colorful plastic balls came rushing to my mind. I can see myself going down the slide at the Discovery Zone and landing in the sea of balls, standing on the pit’s ledge and diving in as if I were at the public pool, having ball fights with my friends, dunking under the swarm of balls and hiding before popping up to give someone a scare…ahh so many childhood memories!!

To be quite honest, I was never one to want to grow up. You know how some girls go through a whole makeup phase in middle school, trying to look grown? Yeah, I never went through that. Didn’t even buy eyeliner until my freshman year in college. In high school, while everyone had boy drama and went out on dates, I was happily at the movies with my parents. Oh, and I still watch The Disney Channel and more often take baths than showers.

Basically, I’ve savored every drop of my childhood. And being the youngest of three in my family, I sometimes still get treated like a kid. But while some might complain and demand of their parents, “treat me like an adult!” I definitely do not mind at all! Why? Because growing up sucks, that’s why! I haven’t even hit the real world yet of bills and waking up early and mean bosses and I’m already missing my childhood.

This is the first time in my life where there isn’t a predetermined plan for me. I have to figure out my next step on my own and venture off into the world without anyone holding my hand and it’s scary and confusing and stressful and all I want is my Mommy! I miss the freedom that childhood offered! Even though as a child, you technically have no freedom, as your life is completely run by your parents, I envy the freedom from stress and worry and the freedom of simplicity that kids are privileged to have.

Remember the “want-to-play-shark?” kids I saw in the pool at The Bahamas? In a snap, they became friends and, plain and simple, had fun together. Can you imagine if I went up to a girl in the pool and asked her if she wanted to play cards (or something a little more age-appropriate than “shark”)? After a weird look, she might agree to it, or she would probably use the whole “sorry, I’m here with my friends (and/or boyfriend) excuse” and swim back to them and tell them how some weirdo girl came up to her asking to play cards.

As we get older, we almost have to be extremely selective with our friends, as you quickly find out people are usually trifling, flaky, jealous, or just plain bitches. And forget about making friends with someone of the opposite sex…a whole other field of complications comes with that! I remember as a child having a bajillion friends, a new best friend every year, and going over someone’s house afterschool just about everyday. Yeah, well it took me about 2 years at Penn before I made a solid friend. And this past weekend, I was home…alone…all weekend.

I miss the days of just hopping on my bike and going for my ride around the neighborhood with my friends. I miss walking through the woods behind my house and coming home with ticks (ok, I don’t miss the ticks part). I miss making up dances with my friends afterschool. I miss playing intense games of House and Murder in the Dark (we were morbid kids) with my cousins during the summertime.

I miss having hobbies for goodness sakes! I used to read all the time! I was always reading a book before bed. Now that

book as been replaced by Netflix on my laptop. I used to do all kinds of arts and crafts projects—watercolor to lanyard to crocheting—and write fiction stories all the time. The saddest memory…I used to dance—a HUGE part of my life for like 10 years. Over the years, those hobbies have slowly dwindled away and yet today, I have the nerve to declare “I’m bored!”

As we get older, our bookshelves are filled with self-help books (I’m currently reading “The Laws of Thinking”) and we have to consciously remind ourselves…

"Carpe diem!"

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today"

But as much as we can try and "live like everyday is your last," before you know it, the pangs of adulthood creep back in and the people who indeed ARE savoring everyday as if they'll die in the morning are the ones looked as as reckless and irrational.

While I'm sad to say that my childhood is gone forever, I guess I just have to accept that it's an (unfortunate) part of life and it's time to grow up, shape up, and ship out.