I Should be on The Real World!

I came up with the perfect plan to avert the real world…I should be cast on The Real World! This precious gem of a reality show has been a staple in my nightly routine since hmm…I was like 7. Yup, I basically grew up watching The Real World and I must say, it has taught me a lot! I learned to:

- Never open somebody else’s mail or suffer being called a “stupid bitch” while being looked at dead in the eye (Thank you Dan from Real World Miami)

- Never call out a closeted gay man for being gay or risk being the brunt of the “slap heard around the world” (Thank you Stephen & Irene from Real World Seattle)

- Never “galavant” with a coworker or risk being fired (Thank you Cyrus from Real World Boston)

- Never leave a guy I like around a black chick with blue eyes or risk losing that man forever (Thank you Jonna from Real World Cancun).

Now finally after seasons of stock characters and boring storylines, MTV has finally stepped up its casting game with the latest Real World: Las Vegas—everyone’s Wednesday night guilty pleasure. And so far, I’ve learned quite a bit…

- Do not have unprotected sex with a man whore as he will get you pregnant and he will give you a STD

- Do not tell a raging alcoholic to stop breaking stuff in your house as it will only make him break more stuff

- Be weary of any guy you come across as there is small chance that he was once a participant in gay porn

So why should I be on The Real World? I didn't come from a broken home with drug addicted parents or grow up in foster care, I don't have anger issues, I don't have boy drama, I get along with other girls, I have an education, I can hold my liquor...but I do have this burning desire to live in a sick house for 4 months with no responsibilities, good looking people, free food, and partying!! If only a "burning desire" was enough to get you on TV these days : ( Hmm, now if only I could figure out a way to develop some sort of mental illness...